Ellie-Jean and Zach on WhatsApp 8/5/26, 8:39:43 PM

The instagram got banned first though but yeah 🙂

I adore u more

No I actually like that you adore me more

My best relationships worked best when that is the combo but I love how open you are about it all

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Stay single for a while…. 👀

Excuse meeeee

I am absolutely same

I’m the same. I sent that message before I got the voice note.

So then, as soon as I was listening to the voice note, I was like whoops

I don’t want to ruin your sleep. You go back to sleep. I’m just editing. Btw you look gorgeous

Seriously don’t stay up instead of sleeping we have nothing but all the time in the world all I’m doing is sleeping

EDITING***

Haha but I do love sleep

With Ellie

The not so empress

You’re referring to Ellie tho right?

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High school behaviour maybe

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I just re-listened to the voice note I sent you because I was thinking what the hell did I just say? And considering I’m talking about several diagnosis regarding personality disorders listening back to myself I’m kind of like yeah ha ha.

Do u listen on 1.5x?

Really????

You listen on 1x?

Because I talk so slow

Yeah like duel?

Dual*

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LOVE

AND I love that I have the privilege of being trusted by the people around me, it would destroy me if they didn’t come to me for stuff

That’s where my psych has said. You need to find your voice more because energy and intuition wise I feel as though when I struggle I just know this is a fact in the family when I get wobbly everyone becomes wobbly.

Whereas if one other person on their own gets wobbly, we can all still handle it if me or Dad go wobbly I’m just using that word. I don’t know why then everyone would become undone.

So fortunately, he and I have never been undone at the same time strategically

It’s one of the reasons I checked back into rehab so often even though I’ve not relapsed

Because that way I can reset myself and the family don’t have to see that I can lean on nurses and I can share internal struggles

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By the way this whole time I was editing thinking why hasn’t he gotten back to me? Didn’t realise you’d sent the message LOL.

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Oh wow

Mt internet was fucked I only am just seeing this!!

Yeah bloody hell let’s try!

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Oh trueeeeeee

I’ll try log in & show you what it says.

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I’m so mad you can keep typing but I need to literally calm down. I’m physically shaking. I don’t think you understand how fucking like triggering this is like this can cause me to relapse. I don’t think you understand at all.

No you don’t

Best you’re going to fucking get

WHAT DO YOU MEAN

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Just fucking Google it yourself. You don’t get it I don’t know how you don’t get it. Nick had me do this for 4 years straight you may have seen results. I know I’m not stupid enough to listen to someone that says here sign this contract here we will reinstate this and nothing fucking happens it makes me feel like I’m going crazy I am trying to move on from Nick I am trying to be positive I don’t have any photos videos and looking having to click on articles is triggering I want to drink and I’ve been sober 10 years I don’t want to look in the past

Unless I’m fully relapsed I’m not looking at old shit I don’t want to do it

I just honestly can’t stop crying

So I don’t know what this guy wante

I can’t find anything

It’s really upsetting I’m just thinking of being unwell and so much regret so much regret so much regret so much regret

What are you talking about

It’s in the video

I did the phone number

And the email?!

Did you not see it ?????

No they’re 2 different videos. I type in 0432415576 and it signs me into the Facebook I have now

It’s on the video. Up there

Tell mark I wish he was dead

Great amazing fantastic

Obviously don’t say that

I feel like I’m crashing out over the past and the hurt and pain and regret in general no one is here so it’s not pointed at you and also I feel like to be fair I must have given like 89 warnings saying this hurts I don’t want to do this I don’t like it

No but I don’t know what the fuck to do I don’t know how to help. First I’m drugged by a doctor that gets fired then I’m addicted to Suboxone then I spend years trying to kill myself bleeding from self harm in half my fucking videos being pressured by Nick to do more then I literally try to end my life and can’t even do that right don’t take enough pills have a dad that cares too fucking much put the whole family through agony introduce my sister to a narcissist don’t talk to my family for years. Sister gets beaten for 4 years because I introduced them. She goes bankrupt because of him. They all start doing their websites because they follow their stupid older sister and then we all lose our platforms that we had built up over a decade, with it our identity then the other sister is raped by my fiancé then I really really take a dive, dad drags me to a clinic 22’ since then I have been asked to pay I have emails daily telling me they can get it back this isn’t just a page it’s a whole fucking mess

Okay so how do I find what mark jefferies so desperately needs

Great. So it’ll be fantastic to watch you lose $15k that won’t sting

Yeah, I used to be like that too

I think you need to talk to dad about understanding me on this stuff unless you can understand it point blank because we collectively as a family have only been good for one and a half months I keep saying six months but it’s not been six months. It has been one month and a half.

This is this fucking MORNING

my baby sister is in rehab

I caused this

No. They literally follow exactly what I do. This was my fault. Reality is just reality. And we all have to tell ourselves lies to justify the horrible truth that in the past we did the wrong thing to other people. And I didn’t just harm myself, I harmed 3 girls that when they get older they will likely realise the truth of that. Until then, I will have to continue my own justification that sure “it’s their responsibility” even though they don’t have a mum and I’m the eldest.

I’m hoping in the shower

Xx

Sure

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